I had a young fellow come up to me one day after a meeting and ask me why I was such a stickler for doing things by the Big Book.

Here's what I told him:

There's a highway that heads west out of Salt Lake City called "Interstate 80". It is the ONLY highway that goes all the way across the state to Wendover. There are a few other roads that lead west out of Salt Lake, but they quickly merge with I-80, or they wander away to the north and south.

If you are in Salt Lake, and you want to go to Wendover, then there are an infinite number of paths that you can take. You can, if you wish, take your car and drive off to the north, all the way up into Idaho, and then work your way west into Nevada and then come south.

Or you can wander off to the south, and come across lower Utah into the area around Great Basin Nat'l Park, and then head north to Wendover. Eventually you'll get there.

If you are feeling adventurous, then you can - if you load up on water and supplies (and water) - head off into the trackless wastes north or south of I-80, and make your way through the Great Salt Lake Desert. You'll spend a lot of time, and you may not make it at all (there are a lot of folks that never made it across that desert) but at least you won't be following in anybody else's footsteps - you'll be blazing your own trail.

However - if you absolutely must get from Salt Lake to Wendover, and if death for you and disgrace for your loved ones are the alternatives, and if they are following close behind you - then you're just an idiot if you don't take I-80.

It's a paved route that is well travelled. There are a lot of folks travelling on it, they all know the way because they've gone that way many times. If by chance you do find yourself stranded alongside the road, they are more than happy to help you get going again.

There's cell service all along the route so that you're never out of touch, and roadsigns appear ever so often to remind you that you are, indeed, on the proper path, and they tell you how far you have to go. 

Once you get past those first few roads, there aren't any exits or detours; once you get well into this journey, you have to finish it along the marked route in order to get where you are going.

That's how I see the Big Book. It's a well-marked path that was laid out a long time ago for folks who HAVE to get sober, and who are willing to go to any length. If there's any rebellion in them, then there's no reason for them to follow this route; maybe booze'll knock the rebellion out of 'em, or maybe it'll kill 'em first.

But those who demand their own individuality - who rebel against being told what to do - don't see why they should have to follow somebody else's directions. And the writers of the Big Book understood this; they told us that so long as the newcomer thought that he could try his own way, we are to wish him well.

But we don't have to walk out into the Great Salt Lake Desert with him; we can stay on the well-worn path and wave bye-bye. That, to me, is the real sense of the word "suggestions" in the Big Book. We've got a path that we suggest, but we're not going to ENFORCE it. We're not going to make them follow these suggestions; at the same time, we're not going to alter our program to accomodate their demands.

They can, if they wish, join us on the Broad Highway (just like the Big Book says) - and they are welcome, so long as they mean business (just like the Big Book says).

I'm aware that there are folks who don't like the idea that there is actually a set of instructions; that there are folks who've decided that they know which parts of the Big Book need to be "changed" or "updated". That's their balliwick; once again, there's no reason to accomodate them. They are certainly free to go start their own recovery programs.

Sometimes they do. MM and RR are some recent examples of recovery programs started by folks who quite openly did not like the structure and strictures in the Big Book. I haven't heard much about them lately, though.

However, usually these folks don't go start their own programs. They don't go build their own highways across the desert; instead, they come onto I-80 and set up roadblocks. They put up exit signs, telling the folks who've never travelled this route before that they don't have to stay on the road, that they can head off anytime and that they'll be just fine.

I'm just an old Big Book Thumper. I haven't figured out where the Big Book is wrong (well, sometimes I find passages that bother me - but I let them bother me, and keep my focus on the fact that the error is in ME and in my understanding, and not in the Big Book itself). I don't want to give anybody my ideas or my opinions; I fired my own brain something close to 8447 days ago, and said out loud that, for the rest of my life, if the Big Book said one thing, and my brain said another, then my brain was wrong.

The pundits standing beside the freeway, yelling loudly that there are other ways to get to Wendover, say that "Big Book Thumping" is arrogance. And I'll admit that I'm arrogant, but that's a cheap shot - there's not a single flaw that you can name that I don't have in abundance :)  However, my attempts to follow the Big Book (and to carry its message to others) are not INITIATED by my arrogance, even though my arrogance is certainly capable of jumping along for the ride.

I cranked up this blogspace as a rest stop on I-80; a place where fellow travellers can stop for a bit and get reassurance that the road really does lead to Wendover. If you want what we have, and are willing to go to the same length that we went to to get it - or, congruently, if you have what we have, and you want to keep it along with us - then feel free to hang around. Post comments, generate discussion, invite others of like mind.

I need to surround myself with folks who are on the same road - because I have an illness in my head that still whispers to me that I don't really, really still have to follow all of those rules after 23 years. So if you want to help me stay sober using the means that we were given by those who came before us, please - please! - hang out with me and tell me that this is the right road.

But if you want to wander off onto the Salt Flats, then I'll just wave goodbye. And I'll remind you to take plenty of water.