Zoning Out


I spent this last weekend at an OA convention in Dallas, TX. (Gotta love Dallas :)

One of the most interesting things that I heard, I heard not in a meeting or from a speaker, but in a private conversation with my oldest friend.

He pointed out that there's a comfort zone, and that people have to be pushed out of their comfort zone in order to grow; as long as they are comfortable, there's too much inertia causing them to stay the way that they are. Okay, nothing really new there - I've been hearing, and saying, that for years - except for the idea of that area of discomfort, just outside of the Comfort Zone, being called the "Growth Zone".

But he followed that up by saying that if folks get pushed too far our of their comfort zone, they wind up in the Panic Zone, and they can't grow there either - instead of being unwilling to move because they are comfortable, they are unable to move because they are paralyzed with fear.

I liked it so much that I drew a picture :)

                                          


So I brought that home, and thought about it, and it really explains a lot - and then, during this morning's Big Book Study, we were reading about "the first meeting with a man, in Chapter Seven (page 91) talking about the Twelfth Step -

"After a while, turn the talk to some phase of drinking. Tell him enough about your drinking habits, symptoms, and experiences to encourage him to speak of himself. If he wishes to talk, let him do so. ... If he is not communicative, give him a sketch of your drinking career up to the time you quit.... If he is in a serious mood dwell on the troubles liquor has caused you, being careful not to moralize or lecture. If his mood is light, tell him humorous stories of your escapades. Get him to tell some of his."

...and I thought back on all of those first conversations I've had, after a meeting or when they first give me a phone call, and I realized how perfectly the above instructions map into these thoughts about "Panic Zone, Growth Zone, and Comfort Zone".

See, telling my own story, and doing so from the perspective of "yes, it really was that bad, but I'm all better now", has the tendency to pull the listener into the Growth Zone, regardless of which zone he's in now.

If he's ready to grow, we can identify, and then we get moving.

Then, for the ones that are a little too placid - the ones who think "gee, I'm not that bad a drunk" or  "I couldn't really be a compulsive overeater" - me telling my story, and focusing on those examples of powerless that got my attention, might cause them to think "Uh, oh - huh, I drink/overeat like that" and - as the Big Book says -

"Maybe you have disturbed him about the question of alcoholism. This is all to the good. The more hopeless he feels, the better."

So the comfortable ones get "disturbed", and that's a good thing - they get pushed out into the Growth Zone. Maybe not right away - but perhaps a few more episodes, a few more binges, might get them there - especially when they have our words still ringing in their ears.

But then we have the other ones - the ones who are almost hysterical with grief and remorse. These sad, sick cases have reached the point where they don't believe that anything can be done for them. (It's funny how quickly many of us go from "I don't have that bad a problem" to "nobody can help me - I'm a goner" :) When I think of these, I tend to think of Bill D., "Anonymous Number Three", who was the Man On The Bed - the one who was sure that he was too far gone, the one exhibiting maudlin remorse over having punched a nurse the night before.

These folks are in the Panic Zone - they are ready to jump off a bridge (but not just yet) and will quickly deflect any attempts to help them by saying "No, no - nobody can help me. I'm too bad, too evil, too sick"; however, hearing a quiet recitation of our own struggles, our own powerlessness - while there we sit, obvious examples of recovery - can have the power of calming these hystrionic ones down, and moving them into the Growth Zone, where they are ready to get started.

It sort of reminds me of the old circuit riding preacher1, who would show up once a month and say "I am here to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable"; this helps both groups. The afflicted can't grow until they hear a message of hope; the comfortable can't grow until you light a fire under them.

I'll close with this further illustration - this model also explains some of my own behavior, as a sponsor, and the funny stuff I've seen from my own sponsors.....Have you ever noticed how, when you explain to your sponsor how bad things are, he tells you that they're not so bad?...but then, when you give him a smug answer, and you're puffed up with your own self-satisfaction, he'll burst your balloon quickly and tell you that you're in danger, and that you'd better get to work? :)



1 Aside to Alan - yes, I'm still using that "circuit-riding preacher" analogy. I'm sure that it will wear off eventually :)

 

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    The nike air jordan shoes came by allowance awning their an ideal band of sneaker that are alleged as Jordans. They accept acquired astronomic acceptance from the time they were alien. aback that time jordan 23, there's been actually no searching aback. Jordan shoes are not just abundant in appearance and looks, but they asable-bodied accord astringent abundance and affluence appear the wearer. Whenever Nike aboriginal alien their blazon of shoes, Nike had been basically alike with sports shoes like runners as able-bodied as athletes. accordingly, these humans capital to accomplish a move assorted and focus on a altered band of shoes. This is area these humans entered the cast new accomplished apple of assembly sneakers  for that basketball game.


    In those times, Jordan annual to the cachet of a baseball celebrity. He was a able-bodied accepted basketball actor. This is area Nike airtight up the befalling of roping in this accomplished activate as able-bodied as paid a huge bulk of Two.5 actor dollars. Jordan able-bodied shoes were launched and Michael Jordan recommended this accurate cast. The aboriginal The nike jordan cossack called because The nike jordan 1 accustomed accumulated colors associated with aphotic and red that looked ambrosial and active. In those canicule jordan release dates 2011, you could get just white black baseball cossack. NBA acutely against the active colours called through Nike forth with a prohibit had been activated. Michael Jordan had been answerable ample penalties anniversary time he or she wore individuals shoes for his fits. The Jordan sneakers afterwards that grew to become acutely accepted a part of the archetypal accumulation and anybody adapted to claimed a brace of these sneakers. aback those times, The nike jordan has been consistently introducing new blazons eactual time and they've managed to break in the actual best. Aquiring a set of The nike jordan shoes is absolutely a appreciative affair forth with a collectors' account too. With attention to astringent enthusiasts and enthusiasts of trainers Reply to this

  • 9/14/2011 9:03 AM lmn625 wrote:

    To celebrate their 60th anniversary, Onitsuka Tiger Mexico 66 Deluxe have come up with something a little special. The 60th birthday is a milestone in Japanese culture - symbolizing the ‘circle of life’, which is based on the Japanese Zodiac calendar. The story of the Zodiac tells how 13 animals raced against each other to secure a spot in the Zodiac calendar.

    Asics GEL-KAYANO 17 Shoes are to improve a new fashion trade. It is well known that a series of new products this season. This popular Onitsuka tiger shoes on sale style was first endorsed at the 66 Olympics and was worn by Bruce Lee in his film 'Game Of Death'. The Asics Onitsuka Tiger Mexico 66 shoes white bavy blue red is a very amazing shoes. It is timeless classic due to the fact that it has a style that can be nowhere else. In addition, this Onitsuka Tiger Mexico 66 is built with durable canva upper and rubber sole onitsuka tiger  mexico 66 shoes to provide good protection for its wearer. The more important is that you can get them with less cost from here now! Meanwhile, free shipping and no tax is also promised. Now, just buy them and the more you order the more discount you will get!

    To celebrate this milestone Onitsuka Tiger Mid Runner have launched a series of sneakers that take inspiration from each of the different animals from the calendar.

    Posted By:www.onitsukatigeroutlet.com 

    Tags:
    Onitsuka Tiger Mexico 66; Onitsuka Tiger Mexico 66 Baja;Onitsuka Tiger Ultimate 81;Onitsuka Tiger Kanuchi;Onitsuka Tiger Mid Runner;Reply to this

  • 9/15/2011 11:06 AM cde522 wrote:

    Last for 26 years ago by the AIR JORDAN I pioneered by tradition air jordan shoes, JORDAN brand has launched a product is intended to subvert the basketball shoes industry–AIR JORDAN 2011. This is the first with two interchangeable midsoles of high-performance basketball shoe jordan retro 5, this implementation performance of high order.


    For each AIR JORDAN basketball shoes jordan training shoes, brand team of Michael Jordan had asked him to give it a breakthrough and innovation. AIR JORDAN 2011 by the legendary designer JORDAN brand–Tinker Hatfield personally surgeon will once again set off basketball Sports revolution. The sneakers designed focusing on characteristics of basketball with two interchangeable to meet the players at the end of the different requirements for speed and explosive power.


    Desire on the faster players, AIR JORDAN in the heel and front foot at the end of the 2011 Palm parts equipped with Zoom Air cushion unit can be moved so that they respond more quickly. While the red player designed specifically for those in search of a strong explosive force at the end the building, taking charge of the three-fourths of the injected air unit, plus the end of Cushlon, enhanced vibration-isolating effect of the move.


    In addition, the AIR JORDAN 2011 using the never before used in any production of high-performance basketball shoe-Pseudomonas aeruginosa-manual Patina leather. Each pair of AIR JORDAN 2011 basketball shoes are hand-polished, so created are unique and first-class quality for each pair of sneakers.


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  • 9/16/2011 9:01 PM bcd689 wrote:

    i swear to god if the eagles get to the superbowl will not watch that fricken game, if eagles win.... will never pay,watch,nfl football jersey,


    Reply to this
  • 9/19/2011 8:19 PM rst613 wrote:
    ,nfl football jersey

    Let the men of this board speak for themselves.  So why are you single again?

     


    Reply to this
  • 9/20/2011 2:41 AM efg560 wrote:

     Adidas F50 Adizero   is Messi's favorite Boots


    Thin means that Adidas F50 Adizero the more flexible, which in different site conditions to ensure the comfort and good performance. super-lightweight glass fiber composite plate at outsole that reacts to need for speed Strategically configured blades for superior footing and quick cuts in any direction Nike Mercurial Vapor III   Safari Toe-off traction for bursts of speed.Adidas F50 Adizero the  is one of special design product that with fine leather style.Nike have changed the angle of the sole.Compared to a 180 degree boot,this newly made angle means that it will be easier to accelerate from a starting position.Adidas f50 adizero football cleats because the use of hidden lace design, lightweight shoes, body weight, SG shoes with a quick change system, with three pairs of “Fusion Frame” technology. At the time Adidas signed that was more speed-based players chosen. In material terms, F50 is still using the traditional kangaroo leather materials.

    However,you won't  Adidas F50 Adizero TRX  be seeing boot debuts from either of the aforementioned names soon as the Real Madrid talisman is injured and the AC Milan striker is currently serving a three match ban. The F50 Adizero Prime need for high stability, typically require the application of heel robust solid material, but more close to the f
    Reply to this

  • 9/20/2011 7:45 PM fgh459 wrote:

    Asics Gel-Kayano 17 Size Euro 46 came out


    Asics Gel-Kayano 17 was introduced with the objective of serving runners looking for both stride efficiency and comfort in their shoes. Manufactured by Asics Gel-kayano , this shoe has high-end components. With its cutting edge technology, the company brings out a bold new edition. It features Asics Gel-kayano New Guidance Line and Duomax Support System for optimal gait. Besides, this Asics Gel 17  venerated trainer has a redesigned asymmetrical lacing system, and shock-attenuating discrete heel unit.The newest model Asics Gel-Kayano 17 runs a little smaller than previous models and the laces are not as long as they have been in the past so it means that no more double knots. I heard that the Asics Gel-Kayano 17  were lighter than its previous models, but to be honest I couldn’t feel the difference. This one is even better than the last!The  Asics Gel 17   is a heavier meshed model yet gains no discernible weight for this. If your feet are on the larger side, they will likely fit you well, but if you’re used to the Asics Running Shoes with smaller feet, do make sure to give them a try and expect much fiddling with laces before you commit your hard earned premium-price-running-shoe cash.


     


    Post  By:www.asicsdirectsale.com


    Tags: Asics Gel-Kayano 17  Asics Gel    Asics Gel-kayano&nb
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