A word that has a hard time these days is "advice".

It seems that folks don't want it, and to give advice is considered arrogant.

Sheesh - when I walked into the rooms, I desperately wanted advice. And folks were not at all hesitant to give it to me. Vigorously : )

In Chapter Seven, "Working with Others", we're told that

So I figure that my "advice" to the newcomer is supposed to be about how he can work the Twelve Steps as outlined in the Big Book.

Somebody asked me how I do this; I familiarize the newcomer with the instructions via a series of discussions.

I break it down this way:

* The Doctor's Opinion
* Bill's Story - if they are alcoholic; I also tell them that while they are doing these readings, I want them to read some of the stories in the back of the book. If they are compulsive overeaters, I tell them to read some of the stories in the Chocolate Book.
* Chapter 2 through the italics on page 24, and then we discuss what the BB means by "powerless".
* The rest of chapter 2, then we discuss Dr Jung, the business man, and how alkies got struck sober "here and there, once in a while" and the difference between that and what happened with Roland.
* Chapter 3, and we discuss what's in there
* Chapter 4, and I ask them to find out if it says that we need faith to work this program.
* Chapter 5 through a), b) and c) - and then I ask them if they are convinced of those three things. If they are, then I tell them that "..they are at Step Three" because they've read the book up to this point and are convinced of the three pertinent ideas.
* Through the paragraph after the Third Step Prayer, and I tell them while they are reading this section (over and over?) to find the answers to two questions - 1) what is the first requirement to working the Third Step? and 2) when they try to run their own lives, what delusion are they suffering from? I also tell them to think long and hard about what those pages say, and decide if they want to do that Third Step.
* After they've done that reading, I ask them if they have thought long and hard, and do they want to go through with this? If yes, I do the Third Step prayer with them (after discussing what it means to me).
* We go over the next paragraph together, where it says that in order to have any permanent effect, this Step must be followed by the rest of the Steps. I then send them home WITH A NOTEBOOK and tell them to a) read the rest of the chapter and b) start their grudge list TODAY.
* While they're working on the inventory, we talk about the various sections whenever they have questions.
* When they are near to getting done, I have them read Chapter 6 through the "quiet hour" afterward, and let them decide who they are going to do their Fifth Step with.
* After the Fifth Step, I point out the quiet hour, and what the Big Book says to do for Steps Six and Seven. I tell them that, if they do those Steps, to then take their Fourth Step and put all the names down in a list (leaving some room for what the amends might be) and read Chapter 6 through the Ninth Step Promises.
* Send 'em out with their list, after discussing any questions that they may have about specific amends.
* As they are progressing with their list, I tell them to read the rest of Chapter 6, and then we discuss Steps 10 and 11 as a discipline.
* I then tell 'em to read Chapter 7 and discuss what it says, and tell them that it is time for them to make themselves available to newcomers as a sponsor.


There is nothing in here about if the newcomer should date Suzie, or take that job in Nova Scotia, or stop smoking. I neither know nor care what sort of decisions the pigeon makes; as far as I'm concerned, until they get to Step Eleven, it's all a roll of the dice anyway : )