Some time back - oh, ten years or so ago - I heard a young fellow say at a meeting (paraphrased, of course, because I don't remember his exact wording :) -

"I hate that Third Step Prayer - I hate all the "thee"s and "thou"s; it just sounds so stilted, so made-up - but I have noticed that doing things my own way hasn't been working, so I think I'll go ahead and say that prayer, just the way that it's written."

Those of you who know me will know that I sorta smiled inside (maybe outside too : )  when I heard this - and, after the meeting, the young fellow came up to me and asked me to sponsor him.

No coincidence, that, I suppose - I'm known as a fellow who at least tries to pay attention to the directions as given, and I don't spend too much time trying to find a way around them.

But some time later, I got to noticing that I had heard the same sentiment expressed several times - people who found the "thee" and "thy" language in some of the Big Book prayers to be distasteful; some thought that they were too religious and formal, as well.

So I started thinking about those words, myself. Why are they used in so many prayers?

I came to an understanding, but of course it required several levels of uncovering : )

First off, I assumed that this language wasn't accidental - it shows up in so many Christian denominations. So, if it wasn't accidental, then it probably came from a single source.

"Thee" and "Thou" were Elizabethan (and prior) English, of course - and that pointed at a simple and singular source; the King James Bible. And that same source might be the proximate cause of the irritation, no doubt - folks associate the King James Bible with religion, and quite possibly with their religion of origin, which (as we all know)  is ¹the only justified resentment allowed in the Twelve Steps :)

Okay, case closed. It's the King James Bible.

Uh, but wait a minute - I'm willing to accept that as the source of the language, but that doesn't explain the use of "Thee" and "Thy" in the prayers in the King James Bible. Quite often, the King James scholars used "you" and "your", and sometimes they used "thou" and "thy". Why? If I'm going to know where this came from, I have to know why "thee" is used instead of "you".

Well, there's our first clue - there are two ways to say "You" in Elizabethen English - "you" and "thou". Okay, why? Well, any study of any language that is anywhere close to English in geography or lineage shows that all them them, as well, pretty much have two ways to say "You". In German, it's "Sie" and "Du" - in Spanish, "Tu" and "Usted", in French, "Tu" and "Vous".

Okay, why two second-person pronouns? It's obvious to anyone who's studied those languages - one of them is intimate, and one is formal. One shows closeness and familiarity, one shows respect and distance.

Okay, so we know that English is derived from Germanic and Latin roots (mainly), so we can assume that, just like those languages, English has two second person pronouns, as well - one is formal, one is intimate. Okay, lesson learned - we say "Thee" and "Thou" to show respect to God.

Uh, not so fast, my friend : )

If we want to see proper Elizabethan English, there's no better source that ol' Will Shakespeare. So  what can we learn from him?

Well, what did Juliet say when leaning out the balcony, calling her sweetie? "Wherefore art thou, Romeo".

What did Mark Antony say while giving a speech? "Lend me your ears".

"Thee" and "Thou" are the intimate forms of the pronoun. We don't say them to show respect - we say them to show intimacy.

When we're talking to the Almighty, He is, without a doubt, all that and a bag of chips - but a small child of that era would use "thou" in talking to his father, no matter how great a king or lord that father was. When I am speaking to God, I am speaking to somebody who sees me when I'm on the john.

We say "thou" and "thy" in prayer because it's the one place in our culture where we still intend to show that intimacy, that closeness.

And suddenly, it doesn't seem quite so "stilted" or "phony", anymore : )

¹No, of course it's not : ) But it is surprising how often it seems that way - folks can sit in a meeting in a church basement, and badmouth the church, as long as it was the church that they came from - because it seems that so many folks believe that it was what they learned in that church that caused them to become alcoholic/compulsive overeater/whatever. The funniest part of all this, to me, is that Joe will blame his problems on the Catholics and join the Mormons after he's recovered; Phil will blame his problems on the Mormons and join the Catholics : )